Unexpressed emotions will never die.

Better yet, spill out everything and anything before you bumped and reached out on a burning mountain that will harm everyone around you. There are certain things that you can't really express, whether it is negative or positive but we don't wanna end up hating ourselves for not expressing it, right? So, just go and let them know what you really feel! Don't just be a knuckle who hides away and make themselves like a bubble head who always wants to just bubble their heads! (weird. hahaha) Come on you there human! Let the world know who you are, what you are, and who you wanted to be. :) Forget all of those people who made you feel like you are not worthy to be happy 'cause you are worthy to feel the breeze in an unending happiness that our life may bring. Never regret the crazy times you had when you really felt happy of doing such crazy things. Life doesn't stop for anybody. :)

"Forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path of those who betrayed you. Sometimes a good heart doesn't see the bad."

"It is not important what the world sees, but what God sees." <3

I can still smile :)

In spite of all the negative things and revelations that happened in the past few days, at the end of the day I learned to smile and be thankful of what have had happened. Thankful in a way that you make up your mind to clear things up and realized that you are too blessed to be stressed. Even if they bought you so pain that almost tear you apart, you still managed to settle down, be calm, love them, and let them throw rocks at you. I can say that I think that I am brave enough, I conquer pain and anger over being happy and being hopeful instead. This struggles shows that God is in control and I am in process that I still managed to understand others even if it hurts. It made me stronger and somehow boost up my confidence to try to play around them and defeat the bitterness in my heart.


"A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch but its on her wings."

Betrayed. I guess? :(

Have you ever feel like one of your closest friend is the only one that gives you this burden in your heart? You feel like this certain person is trying to make up stories about you that are really aren't supposed to be told? Or has no basis? Well, it sucks. Really. You didn't know that she's already breaking your walls little by little. The next thing you will know is that she made a big hole right before you knew it. Saya diba? :) :| 

Mga taong tinuring mong tunay na kapatid, pero yung tingin pala sayo KAPATID SA LABAS? </3 I realized that I shouldn't trust someone or somebody so much. I'm a transparent person, I thought that it would be something that people may value about me but I was wrong. I feel like they took it for granted, naging very insensitive sila. And it really hurts me. Hindi ko alam bakit ganun sila mag-isip tungkol sakin. I thought may trust sila sakin. Yun pala, wala. Magaling lang magsabi, pero hindi naman kaya panindigan. Ano pa ba aasahan ko? I don't wanna be immature about this, Okay? If you guys are brave enough, then talk to me in person, I would appreciate that, really. Ayako lang yung ganito, you guys are talking behind my back. I don't know if I'm just paranoid or what, but my instincts are wrecking me. It would be much better if you say it to my face, not through media and whatsoever but you chose to break me talaga and feel guilty about it. This time, I won't react, I will let you feel like I didn't know something, I will act as if nothing happened, you do what ever you wanna do but just be prepared. Why? Mabait akong tao, I know my limitations, but if you guys ruined and stepped on to that limit, and you'll see the real thing. :) I'm afraid that I could be your worst, that's why I keep praying to God to guide and guard my words and actions. Just a little peace of advice lang. Girl, hindi lahat ng nakekwento sayo isheshare mo sa iba, lalo na pag you don't know the real story and you don't have any basis about it, kasi pinapalala mo yung situation eh. Ikaw ang gumagawa ng problema. Kumalma ka lang, masyado ka ng play safe. :) Please know where to stand. Okay? :)

What I am planning to do now is to li-low muna sakanila and let things fall into places. I just lift this up to Papa, I know that He has something for us to learn. We need to be more concerned what God thinks of us than what people think of us. Basta I know that I didn't do anything wrong, I'm just being myself. Accept me, or denied me, so be it. I know that I'm imperfect and still in the process, and I know that Papa still loves me even at my worst flaws. :) <3

Emotionally: I'm done. 
Mentally: I'm drained. 
Spiritually: I feel dead. 
Physically: I smile.

12:29 AM. 07/22/13

A month rule.

I just realized that it's been a month since then we talked. I almost forgot how or when. I've never been so sure. It came to a point where I asked myself why I am doing this? For what? And if I'll get a benefit from doing this? Playing around was just my plan, but.. I don't know. Wrong motive. I said that after a month, I'll stop. But, what ever. As long as I am enjoying, I won't stop. Forget about that month rule. Or... Forget you?

Confused?

Hibernate?

Believe?

Throw it away?

What?

What?

WHAT?!

Stay, I've been loving you for quite some time. :)

I just have to blog this! Hahaha. So, this song is just so cute. Well, atleast for me? :)) This is one of the song/s I find so sweet. HA! Okay. I feel so baduy. But, AHHHH! I just can't contain this kilig inside of me. :"> Try to listen to it and imagine them. :">  You know, when you're both in love with each other, you fight but still you both take time to fix things between you. It doesn't matter, as long as you love him/her. Just listen to the song :)

Unreal? Confused.

You've gone too far. I didn't know that it'll be this hard to catch up. I don't exactly know how or when it happened, it's just that. It happened. A lot of stress and questions that I've been trying to figure. Still, clueless. Time flies. But.. Can we be like this, until I patched things up for myself?

"I'm not asking for too much, just stick around."

Abusive feelings over mind.

Sometimes, there are feeling that we just can't control and understand. That's normal, I guess? But why do we tend to listen to our feelings when we already know that there is something wrong? We tend to listen and let our feelings dictate what will be. You know there is something wrong, but you still give in to the temptation of feelings. We all hope to get even a fleeting glimpse of that extraordinary unexplainable feeling that we all wanted to feel. However, these pressure that we felt of searching and wanting for something like this may lead us to be more aggressive and might also lead us to brokenness . I do believe that there is always a perfect time for everything, especially when it comes to love. Try to listen to your mind and not on your emotions. Give atleast a reason for your mind to speak to you. :)

God's Best. :)

Since I have started, again. :)  I wanna share to you what I have written for my so called God's Best or some may call it LTP (Life Time Partner). I found this on my old Diary, and this was supposed to be private but I feel like I wanted to share it. :)) So, here. :)

To My LTP, 

               Hi! My Life Time Partner! :) I know that you're alive, maybe somewhere near or far. Maybe we crossed the border of our life journey or bumped at each other but no one reacted. Where ever you are and whoever you are,  I just wanted you to know that I loved you already, even if I still don't know you yet. I know God has the perfect love story waiting for us, that is why I am preserving myself for you. No rush, My Love. In God's perfect time, I know that He will let our paths meet and finally be together by His grace. I just wanted you to know that I will surely wait for you. I hope you do too. Take care always! I love you! See you soon, Babe! :">

So, yeah. That's the letter I wrote for Him. I hope that he can read it in the future. :)) I find it so weird, and cheesy. I know you do too, right? Hahaha. Anyway, that was just one of the letters that I wrote for Him. Not exactly writing letters for him intentionally, but rather letting all of my random thoughts spill out about him. Do you get what I mean? :)) Okay, kasi it's not on a formal form, its more on a scratch papers where I wrote all of those letters, everytime that "stuffs" came into my mind lang that's the time I'll write. :)) Just to be clear, again.. I am in no rush. I'm just excited and hopeful. :)

Reunited! :">

I'm now back from blogging! Well, I hope this'll  be for good. :) It's been so long my blog!! :"> I've been using this account since last year? If I'm not mistaken.. :)) A lot of my posts are now hidden, I mean all of them. Atleast one of them are still visible for public. :)) Will start a new chapter. I hope this will make my days more interesting. Looking forward to write and publish something again. :) I'm still on the floor of writing all of my random thoughts here. :) I feel like I'm Jenna Hamilton (If you didn't know her, she's one of the lead characters in Awkward TV Series) Hahaha. No, it's just nothing. Don't mind that. :)) So, that's just a mere intro about. :) Excited is the word. :)