Betrayed. I guess? :(

Have you ever feel like one of your closest friend is the only one that gives you this burden in your heart? You feel like this certain person is trying to make up stories about you that are really aren't supposed to be told? Or has no basis? Well, it sucks. Really. You didn't know that she's already breaking your walls little by little. The next thing you will know is that she made a big hole right before you knew it. Saya diba? :) :| 

Mga taong tinuring mong tunay na kapatid, pero yung tingin pala sayo KAPATID SA LABAS? </3 I realized that I shouldn't trust someone or somebody so much. I'm a transparent person, I thought that it would be something that people may value about me but I was wrong. I feel like they took it for granted, naging very insensitive sila. And it really hurts me. Hindi ko alam bakit ganun sila mag-isip tungkol sakin. I thought may trust sila sakin. Yun pala, wala. Magaling lang magsabi, pero hindi naman kaya panindigan. Ano pa ba aasahan ko? I don't wanna be immature about this, Okay? If you guys are brave enough, then talk to me in person, I would appreciate that, really. Ayako lang yung ganito, you guys are talking behind my back. I don't know if I'm just paranoid or what, but my instincts are wrecking me. It would be much better if you say it to my face, not through media and whatsoever but you chose to break me talaga and feel guilty about it. This time, I won't react, I will let you feel like I didn't know something, I will act as if nothing happened, you do what ever you wanna do but just be prepared. Why? Mabait akong tao, I know my limitations, but if you guys ruined and stepped on to that limit, and you'll see the real thing. :) I'm afraid that I could be your worst, that's why I keep praying to God to guide and guard my words and actions. Just a little peace of advice lang. Girl, hindi lahat ng nakekwento sayo isheshare mo sa iba, lalo na pag you don't know the real story and you don't have any basis about it, kasi pinapalala mo yung situation eh. Ikaw ang gumagawa ng problema. Kumalma ka lang, masyado ka ng play safe. :) Please know where to stand. Okay? :)

What I am planning to do now is to li-low muna sakanila and let things fall into places. I just lift this up to Papa, I know that He has something for us to learn. We need to be more concerned what God thinks of us than what people think of us. Basta I know that I didn't do anything wrong, I'm just being myself. Accept me, or denied me, so be it. I know that I'm imperfect and still in the process, and I know that Papa still loves me even at my worst flaws. :) <3

Emotionally: I'm done. 
Mentally: I'm drained. 
Spiritually: I feel dead. 
Physically: I smile.

12:29 AM. 07/22/13